Sunday, December 11, 2005

Sorry I have been MIA, but Evan shared his cold. Luckily dh was off this weekend, and so he took on Evan and let me sleep and just be miserable for as long as I wanted. I think this is the first time Evan has ever been sick when dh was home to help! At least we have gotten it out of the way before Christmas. (hopefully)

Something has been eating at me, and honestly, I hate myself for it. I post on another message board with mom's of babies born in March of '04 (like Evan). Well some of them are having their second round of babies. Actually most of them are. And all of the pregnant ones have had these amazingly easy pregnancies. Well, the most recent one just had her baby. This is the thing, the week before she had her baby boy, he stopped gaining weight. Her dr acted like it was no big deal, and actually at her last appointment, she was only seen by a nurse. Well, knowing as many people with late losses as I do, I told her that there could be something seriously wrong if the baby all of a sudden stops gaining. (I know of at least 2 women that lost their babies, and the first sign of a problem was a lack of weight gain.) So anyway, she acted like it was no big deal. She went in for a BPP and a NST on Monday, and the baby was non-responsive. They decided to induce, and the baby was born fine the next day. The reason for the non responsive NST??? His cord was around his neck. I can't find it in me to congratulate her. I just can't do it. Why was HER son saved? Granted, we didn't get any warning with Caleb. His cord wasn't a problem until he turned face down (we think). I am just so jealous that her baby is here and alive. I don't wish that he had died, but I just really have a hard time dealing with the fact that Caleb DID. I fucking hate this.


At 9:04 AM, Blogger Catherine said...

I so understand your feeling. But mine is even more irritating. The infection that killed Alex manifests itself in cold/flu/upper respiratory infection-like symptoms. Now every pregnant lady who sneezes makes me think about how they just have a cold and their baby will be fine...but not mine. I'm sorry Julie. {{{hugs}}}

At 9:11 AM, Blogger kate said...

(((((hugs)))))) I hate this too, it is not fair that our babies died.

I am glad her baby is okay though, i DO wish doctors would take these things more seriously. I am glad you warned her too. It is a message board, she probably acted like it was no big deal but probably she brought up what you said with her care team. So you see, it does make a difference what we do and what we know. I hate that we know it though.

At 1:55 PM, Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Unfair, unfair, unfair.

I was on a board too that started almost a year ago. Most have gone on and had other babies after loss. So I don't go there anymore. I can't control going to the store and seeing babies all over the place, but I can avoid those boards. Every little bit helps.


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