Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Just came across an ad for this show on NBC. It's called Inconceivable. Set in an infertility clinic. Not sure what to think of it. I am pretty sure I will at least check it out.

Just visited some of the pg boards, no idea why, just lurking I guess. I don't know why I like to torture myself, but I do. It's not the fact that I am mad because they are pg. That's not it. It's the total INNOCENCE. That, and the fact that they are all so damn clueless. I can't stand that "it won't happen to me" attitude. I had that attitude once........ never again. I guess I am jealous about the fact that no matter how many subsequent babies I have, I will never again have that happy, care-free pregnancy EVER again. There was a post on one of the boards (can't remember which one) that was called something like "Should I worry about this" or something like that. It was about cord accidents. "I am just terrified that I will have to have an emergency c-section because my baby's cord is around her neck" Look bitch, if that is ALL you have because your baby's cord is around her neck, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS and move on. Unless you have to BURY your baby because his cord was around her neck, I really don't want to hear about it. I know I shouldn't complain, I am the one that was lurking on the pg board in the first place, but it still gets to me. I wanted so badly to post on that board, but I know that I would have been doing it out of spite, and there is no reason to scare her shitless just because I am bitter and mean. The truth is, BOTH of my kids were born with their cords around their necks. Caleb's cord was just short. My nephew was born with his around his neck too, and he is now 8 years old. MOST of the time it's ok. But I resisted the urge to post.

It's weird though. I don't feel the same way about pg women that have been through losses. I am truely happy for them, and want to reassure them if I can. And if I can't, I want to let them know that I at least know how they feel. I just have no patience for the ignorant, happy pg women..........

I'll be the first to admit it..........I am bitter as hell.


At 12:17 AM, Blogger Julie said...

I understand what you mean. I think we all do at one point or another. There just aren't words to explain it to someone who hasn't been there.
(My Nick died from a cord accident, too).
PS- stop going to the boards!

At 4:43 AM, Blogger Jill said...

Those boards are BAD places. On the August board there was a post asking all the 'mommies-to-be' to remember those who started out with them. WELL FUCK YOU ALL.

I was torn between being impressed that someone remembered people like me but the answers seemed to make me feel like I was defective or handicapped or something. They will never get it, we just have to turn around and walk away from the computer!

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

I have no desire to watch that program. I don't care how tasteful it is, it's still all about marketing. I don't want miscarriage and infertility to be trendy.

But then, I've always been ahead of the trends. I went on Outward Bound right before 'Survivor' got popular. I was a medical and forensic photographer right before 'CSI' and its ilk became must-see TV. I have seen neither program. Reality sucks enough as it is. (Although I loved my Outward Bound experience. But I'm not eating any bugs.)

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Kathy McC said...

I know what you mean about the boards. I just read a post from a woman who felt let down because she wasn't getting enough attention from her friends and family with the second pregnancy. Big F-ing deal. Try being on the 4th pregnancy when you only have one living child, lady! Then you'll realize how petty you're being. Pregnancy isn't about getting attention. OOOhhh it just made me mad. The post about cord accidents irked me too. Everyone who is naive likes to post the statistics, like, "Oh, there's a .05% chance it will happen, so don't worry." Well, I've been falling on the wrong end of statistics a lot lately. They give me no comfort, and they make me resentful. Sorry, don't mean to hijack your blog! Just had to get that out! :)

At 9:17 PM, Blogger gabesmama said...

Oh, how funny!!! I have a girlfriend who is trying to get pregnant for the first time and she is convinved that there is nothing that the mom can do to control loss so why worry. So she still smokes and drinks until she gets pregnant. I resent her because I'm like "have you not seen my complete you think you are immune to it." Even though Gabe's cord accident was nothing I could control I sure as hell did my best to stay healthy for him.


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