Monday, September 19, 2005

Welcome to My Pity Party

I have once again been a bad blogger. It just seems like I don't have the energy to keep up. I am totally exhausted. Austin and his mommy are still staying here, and I am still the free child care provider apparently. I have figured out ways to make her get off her ass while she is here, but she still doesn't hesitate to make plans to go out with friends as soon as Austin is asleep. And she usually doesn't bother to ask if it's ok with us until she has MADE the plans. I told dh to have a talk with her today, but I doubt he will. ::sigh::

Watching Evan and Austin breaks my heart into a million peices. Evan has turned into this total big brother. It amazes me. He tries to help with diaper changes, he pats his back when he cries, and wipes his mouth when he's eating. He has even gotten to the point where he tries to pick Austin up. When he hears Austin on the baby monitor, he will go to the bottom of the stairs and say baby and point up the stairs. The boys are 11 months apart. Caleb and Evan are 14 months apart. I hate that I never got to see Caleb be a big brother to Evan. It's just not fair, all of the countless things we have missed. God I miss him.

I am starting to feel a bit like a slave lately. It just never seems to end. Dh and Austin's mom come in, and lay around on the couches, and eat. And I have to clean up the unreal messes they leave in the kitchen. Not to mention the socks they both leave on the floor. Dh will do things, but not unless you specifically ask him to. Like he can't smell the damn litterbox. I got up with both babies this morning (which wouldn't bug me nearly as much if they were both MINE) fed them both, changed them both, unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it again, cleaned out the litterbox, vaccumed the floor and this was all before noon. Austin's mom didn't move at all. The cat got some food scraps out of the sink and was throwing them all over the kitchen, so I yelled at him. Dh asked what was wrong, so I snapped back "I already have to clean up after 2 babies and 2 adults, so why not the cat too????" Yeah, it was bitchy, but I think he got the hint.

On a funnier note, I saw Evan playing with our old phone. He had a notepad, and he looked through it like he was trying to find a number. Then he put the phone up to his ear, and said "hello". Then he paused, then jabbered a little, the paused again. Then he said "NO!!" and slammed the phone down!!! It was hysterical!! I know for a fact he has never seen any of us do that, so not sure where it came from, but it was truely funny!!

Then last night, when dh got home from work, he walked in the door, and Evan looked right at him, and told him to "Go!". Of course he looked REALLY worried when dh walked back outside. He is SOOO entertaining!!


At 4:20 AM, Blogger Anam Cara said...

Evan sounds like a real cutie! On a more serious note though, you have to stop taking care of Austin when his mother is there!! I know that sounds mean to him because you don't want him to be the one to suffer, but his mother is taking serious advantage of you. And it won't stop because she knows how good she has it now!! Unless you change your behavior. Don't go to Austin in the morning and feed him breakfast, etc... If you don't she will. There is an old expression which I think is true "if you keep doing what you've been doing you will keep getting what you've been getting." Dh and Austin's mommy need a bit of a reality check, or more of a kick in the ass! Don't let them, esp. her, get away with such laziness anymore.

At 10:46 AM, Blogger cat said...

Go on strike! Sometimes this has to happen in our house for the other partner to get the message.

You and Evan can make signs and march around with them. Crafts and political activism! ;)

At 11:51 AM, Blogger Catherine said...

You are an incredibly kind woman to allow this mother and her child to live with you. I think perhaps it's time to set up some ground rules? It sounds like you need a break and you're not going to get it unless you insist.

I know it must be incredibly tough to think of Caleb and Evan together...all that you missed. I have similar thoughts when I look at Sam and how he reacts to the smaller kids at his daycare. It's simply not fair that we've all been cheated out of something so precious.

All I can offer is {{{hugs}}} and an ear if you need it.

At 3:57 PM, Blogger Jill said...

Oh Julie, I read this yesterday but didn't answer for fear of spitting venom.

IM is exactly that. But what's DH's excuse?

You are so very kind and compassionate to not only take them in, but take care of them too all the while having salt rubbed into your wounds by seeing the boys together.

I vote for a strike. I'd be putting signs and operating instuctions on all appliances. Pile of clothes or random dropped sock? A sign that says 'this doesn't belong here' or 'pick up your filth'.

You could have an awful lot of fun with this you know... hang in there and keep bitching to us, it what we're here for:)

At 5:47 PM, Blogger gabesmama said...

I've been meaning to ask if Austin's moms know if you blog? It would serve her right to find out what a pain she is! You are too good. I too feel the same way about Gabe--I always think he should be here and should be experiencing these things and all of things he will never get to do or see.


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