Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A little about Irresponsible mom

I figured since you asked about irresponsible mom, I would let you know what I know about her.

She is in the Navy. She works the same "watch" as my dh. She is 21 or 22, and her dh is 22. He is also in the Navy but on a ship. Well they had another babysitter, and all was well, until her dh stopped going to work. The babysitter's dh is on the same ship and was catching hell for being friend with the guy that wasn't showing up, so he had his wife quit babysitting. With no notice. I am not totally sure WHY he wasn't showing up to work, other then the fact that he is a total loser. He is more into going out and partying then taking care of his kid. He doesn't show up to work, which means the Navy takes money from him, which of course, hurts his family. To me, it kind of seems like B (irresponsible mom) doesn't trust her dh to take care of the baby. And it also seems like she TRIES. I truely believe that much. Her dh doesn't think they should run to him each time he cries, and also thinks that he doesn't need a night light because night lights make weird shadows and that is what kids are scared of. I think he's full of lots of ideas like that. (not really saying he is always wrong, just saying he has ways he thinks a baby should be cared for) B is from Indiana, and has no family here to help her or go to for advise. And I just don't think that she thinks to ask questions when it comes to Austin. She still sterilizes his bottles at 6 months old, and uses bottled water to make his formula, but then she doesn't know to feed him solid food, or buy him a highchair yet. If the dr hadn't told her to feed him solids at his last appointment last week, she wouldn't have tried anything yet. I also think it's a little weird for someone to have their first child and not put them in cute little outfits. He is always just wearing a onsie. I know part of the problem is that they are broke (thanks to her dh), and I am pretty sure her dh is the majority of the rest of the problem. And then of course there is the inexperience of being a first time mom with no help.

Which is why it's so hard for me to say no when she asks me to take care of him. At least with me, I know he is safe. I don't think she would leave him with just anyone, but I can't take that chance. Not when there is a baby involved.

When she came to pick him up today she was telling me all about how she spent the majority of the day calling people to find someone to take him, and no one can. Gee where do you see THIS going??? The big problem is the fact that they live about 45 minutes from us. So she has to bring him here at 4:45 am, then backtrack to work, then after work, she has to go out of her way to pick him up, and then back 45 minutes to her house. Not that big of a deal when they are working days. The big issue is when they work over night. She brings him to me at 4pm, then he stays here overnight. Well when she comes to get him in the morning, she is exhausted from working all night with no sleep, so then she wants to stay here for a little while. He wakes up, and I end up taking care of him. This happens for 2 days out of the 4. How is that fair on me????

So I don't know what is going to happen. It really sounds like I will be stuck with him at least one more work string. We really need extra money, but she isn't paying worth a crap. It's really not worth my effort. I guess we will see how things work out.


At 5:52 AM, Blogger Jill said...

Oh Julie ((hugs)) this sounds like an absolute nightmare. You really are so stuck too because you are such a decent human that you can't just let them go their own way knowing there are no real options for them.

Her DH sounds like a total loser. And she is sooo young to be dealing with everything.

I hope she sorts something out soon because you cannot continue like this. You need to have some downtime and some sound sleep. You poor thing ((hugs)).

At 6:35 AM, Blogger Kathy McC said...

You're such a great person for doing this. I understand...but it totally isn't fair to you. I hope they find a suitable sitter soon so you can have a break. (((hugs)))

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Yikes. I agree with Kathy, they need to find someone closer. She'll save on gas that way too, and you'll get some rest. She needs to ask around - I'm sure she's not the only Navy person in need of childcare near base.


At 9:55 AM, Blogger Julie said...

Eve, the thing is, according to MY dh, she has the list of Navy childcare providers (they can charge the parents less and the Navy compensates them) and she has gone through pages and pages of them. The problem is the schedule they work. 2 twelve hour shifts 5:30-5:30 pm, then the next 2 days they work 5:30pm-5:30am. Everyone she has called that can work those shifts taking care of her baby is already full and can't take anymore kids. She is still trying, so HOPEFULLY she found someone. Her kid is a really good baby, but he seems to turn MINE into a total monster!! lol

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Holly Golightly said...

You are a saint for helping her as much as you have. I can't believe you have gotten wrapped up in this. I'm so sorry.

At 11:23 AM, Blogger Julie said...

Thanks for the support girls. I don't know how I always get into situations like this (wait yes I do, the complete inability to say no). Actually I will blame dh for this one. He has the need to find people that need to be saved, and he tries to save them.


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