Friday, August 19, 2005

Not really feeling very bloggy tonite. I don't know what my problem is. I am guessing extreme exhaustion, but who knows. I think part of it is that I am sure you are all tired of hearing me bitch and complain about petty things like babysitting. Let's face it, I really have no life. I am just feeling really blah today. It rained the majority of the day, after a night of hell with the boys. I went to bed around 11, and the neighbors booming music kept me up til around 12. Then right as I fell asleep, Evan woke up screaming. Not crying, but screaming hysterically. I waited a second to see if he would calm down on his own, but it just wasn't happening, so I went in and got him. I tried to rock him back to sleep after I had him calmed down, and he wouldn't fall asleep. He was totally limp like he was asleep, but he was still awake enough that if I moved, he jumped up and looked at me. So after rocking for 30 minutes, I tried to lay him back in his crib and sit on the floor for him to CIO. Well he freaked out. I mean he was hysterical. So I got him back up and took him downstairs and gave him Tylenol. Then I got him to lay with me on the couch for awhile. He acted like he was going to go to sleep, but then he shot up, said something in gibberish, and then got down to play. Ummmm I don't think so. So I took him back to his room to the rocking chair for the Tylenol to kick in. After a few minutes there, it was back in the crib. Oh and MUCH more screaming. Trust me, if I could have gotten him to sleep any other way, I would have. But it ended up with me sitting on his bedroom floor, while he stood in his crib and screamed. Oh and did I mention he can say "mommy" now??? Yeah, great. 20 minutes of the most pathetic, heartbreaking "mommy, mommy, mommy" you can possibly imagine. Pure hell. So he finally went to sleep, and I slowly snuck out of his room (and everytime I sneak in or out of his room, I picture Kathy doing "the drop") I finally crawled into my bed around 2am. I was asleep about 20 minutes when Austin woke up. UGH. I think I got around 4 hours of sleep. This is so not worth the embarassingly small amount of money she is paying me to watch her kid. No way in hell.

On another note, I am trying not to be too optimistic about this month, but I can't help but feel that my boobs are sore. WTF is THAT about??? Oh and they haven't been sore before AF since before I got pg with Evan. I couldn't tell you how many dpo I am right now though, so couldn't tell you when I might break down and test. IF I test at all. So far, there are no tests in the house...... Did I mention there is a Walgreens a tenth of a mile away????


At 11:18 PM, Blogger Jill said...

((((((((Julie)))))))) It is so horribly disconcerting when your child changes suddenly and you have to find a new way of relating to them in the midst of them trying out their new screaming power on you. And then to be dealing with it on the back of no sleep and another baby. I have so much sympathy for what you are going through, but they all do it at some point:) It won't last too long, with any luck.

Have you ever noticed a time when you've put E down to sleep and then the next morning he LOOKS different?

Anyway, you are doing a great job just hanging onto your sanity in this situation. You DO know how well you are doing don't you?

Thinking of you:)


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