Friday, January 13, 2006

Wow I have been a slack blogger. For some reason, I just can't get back into things. Maybe it's that whole facing reality thing. Or maybe it's just the Sims addiction. Who knows. (Laura, the Sims 2 is so much more evil than the first one. And did you know they can actually get pregnant?? And on the first try??)

I added pics of Caleb's birthday to his website. There are 2 on the front page, and then a couple in his photogallery. I had a panic attack when I went to pick up the film. It's weird, I take pics of his grave every time I am in SC (is that weird??) and they seem to always be mixed in with my pics, and I never ever have a hard time picking them up. I was at Wal Mart and dropped the film off at 1 hour, and then did my grocery shopping. I left Evan with dh at home, and I shopped totally alone. I went to the garden center and found a couple of cute plant stakes to bring to Caleb when we go back to SC. Then I wandered through the Valentine's stuff to see if there was anything there I had to have for him, and while I was standing in that aisle, it hit me. Here I was, looking at all of this gimic lovey dovey crap, FOR MY DEAD SON. And then it went back to standing in that very same aisle, in 2003, right after he died, and right after dh was deployed, trying to figure out what DO you buy for a dead baby to show them you love them. And what do you ship to Iraq for your deployed dh. FUCK. I almost lost it right then and there. So I finished my shopping, and then went back to get the film. I walked over there, and instantly, it started. My heart was racing, I couldn't catch my breath. I was shaking (probably visably) and was SOO hot. It wasn't too busy back there though, and I guess no one noticed. I got the film, and got to the front so I could check out as soon as possible. Yep, I am the chick with the dead baby, and yep, we take pictures of his grave.


At 10:33 AM, Blogger gabesmama said...

I think it is great that you always take pictures of your son's grave. I always enjoy seeing them. The pictures really show how Caleb is a part of your life.


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