I started to read through blogs, and I decided I just can't do it. Not tonite. It just breaks my heart that there are SO MANY of you out there spending that first devastating Christmas/ Hannukah without your babies. I can't stand it. I remember how hard it is, and I just hope you all kind find a moment of peace in all of the sadness.

We had Christmas this morning. Santa came last night. Dh and I were up until about 2am assembling and wrapping. We got a cute little desk for Evan (you know, the little plastic Step2 stuff) that has a little reading light on it. Well, when we put the batteries in the light, it worked fine. Then of course once it was screwed into the desk itself it wouldn't work. So dh took it back apart and opened the battery compartment. The plastic, and the prongs that hold the batteries in were totally MELTED. The batteries were too hot for dh to touch, so we put them outside on the sidewalk to cool. The desk was already put together by this point, so I emailed the company and told them what happened. Hopefully they will just send us a new light (and if this one is faulty, the whole desk is going back!!!) but if they won't do that, we will take the desk back to Toys R Us and exchange it. I am just so glad that it didn't overheat like that while Evan was playing with it.

We also got him this little police car that makes car noises when you push the front bumper. Or, let me rephrase that, it's SUPPOSED to make little car noises when you push the bumper. It worked when I bought it, so we took it out of the package, and replaced the batteried. Nothing. The damn thing doesn't work. So now I get to face the return lines at Wal Mart. With no reciept. Fun.

But other than that, everything else he got was fine. He had too much, but not as bad as last year. Of course we still have our SC trip on Monday, and I know of at least 5 more things mom and mil have gotten for him. The good thing is that he has actually played with EVERY thing he got. He really does like it all (which makes storing old toys a challenge since he loves and plays with all of his toys). He wouldn't get out of the car, so alot of his presents were unwrapped in the car. Valuable lesson for next year, leave unwrapped things in another room and bring them out last.

I walked downstairs this morning and all I could think about is how many more toys we would have had under that tree is Caleb was alive. I held it together, until tonite, when Evan crawled into my lap to play with one of his new toys. I don't know what I would do without that kid.

Oh, and our heat wasn't working last night. It has been tripping the breaker everytime it comes on for days. They came and supposedly "fixed" it yesterday, but last night it started it again. I spent the entire night worrying that the house was going to burn down. I kept running the scenario over and over in my head, trying to figure out how I was going to get Evan AND get Caleb's stuff. We called this morning, and the guy came back and it SEEMS fixed now. The breaker itself was overheating or something. Apparently we ARE very lucky that the place didn't burn down. Lovely.