Random Thoughts

I have tried to post a few times, but we all know how hard Blogger can make that. Since I am lucky to post even one time, I guess I will just kind of throw it all in here.

Thursday, I got to meet Kate in person. I have known her now through another group for close to 3 and a half years. We have talked to each other close to every night on yahoo, but we live so far from each other, we never actually got to meet. Her conference brought her a few hours from me, and she decided to take some of her spare time, and come spend a night at my house. I am SO glad she did. I always knew she was an incredibly sweet person just by talking to her, and of course the occasional package in the mail that proves she is constantly thinking of Caleb too. And Evan LOVED her. (Kate, we went out to eat last night, and he kept asking if we were going to see M. lol) I realy wish they lived closer so Evan and Chloe could play together. I think they would have an awesome time.

Friday we were supposed to go to the pumpkin patch since we had run out of time to go, but by noon it was raining. Figures. So we ended up taking Evan, and our friend J. and her dd to the mall and letting them play in the play area. Then we came home and I made spaghetti and meatballs.

With the 2 days of being busy almost nonstop, that fear started creeping in. That constant nagging question of when I felt the last movement from the baby. I kept THINKING I remembered movement, but would then wonder if it really WAS movement, or if I was just imagining things. I know it's hard to explain (unless you have been there). Thank God for the doppler. I snuck upstairs and listened real quick, just to make sure. All is ok for now. I was doing so well with the fear, but I guess I am not anymore. Last night the baby seemed to move non-stop, so that was a little of a relief.

I went and ran some errands with J yesterday, and while we were out, we stopped by a couple of baby sections. I had outfits in my hand more than once, but ended up putting them down before we left the store. I just can't bring myself to buy anything. I had an easier time buying for Evan (I just couldn't take the tags off of things). I just can't do it this time though. I keep saying once I have the u/s next week, then MAYBE it will be easier, but honestly, I doubt it. I know I NEED to buy some of the stuff we need in advance because if not, we will end up spending the money all at once, and we cant afford to do that. It's just actually DOING it that is the problem.

Thank God for holiday distractions. (which of course bring up all kinds of OTHER issues.....)