Sunday, January 28, 2007

Family Annoyances

Anyone that knows anything about me at all knows that I am not overly fond of my in laws. MIL has really done and said some horrible things to me since Caleb died, and fil is just, well, weird. I deal with them for Evan's sake, because I feel like it's really important for him to have a relationship with his grandparents. No matter what though, I can't totally let go of the fact that they pretend that Caleb never existed (and he was their FIRST grandchild).

All of that is beside the point though. The thing is, dh is convinced I hate them, and it's a sore subject with us. I have to approach anything I say about them with EXTREME caution so dh doens't take it the wrong way.

The current issue? Well, it's their timing for coming to see their granddaughter, of course. I never really talked to them about when or even if they wanted to come up because honestly, I figured they would wait awhile. They are both teachers, and have crazy schedules with all kinds of other associations, etc they are members of. It seems like they always have something to do. Well, a couple of weeks ago, they called me and asked when my due date was (AGAIN). I told them it was Feb 20th, but that the baby would be born some time before then because I would be induced. For some reason, they went to work, and asked for a couple of days off that week (I believe it was the 20th and 21st?). Then they called and told us they had gotten the entire week off. A WEEK.

I was NOT happy about this news at all. See, the thing is, my mom is already coming. This has been planned for MONTHS. Mom will come up a few days before the baby is born to help with any last minute stuff we need done, and then she will be here to take care of Evan for us since we have no one else to do it. I trust my mother 100% to take care of Evan. She will be a HUGE help. I know that I won't have to worry about Evan at all. Then when we come home, mom will stay a little longer and help out with the baby, and with Evan. This is all going to be a huge disruption for Evan. He gets off of his schedule when mom comes anyway (or anyone comes for that matter) and then add in the fact that he has NEVER been left by mommy and daddy, especially not overnight. And then add in the new sister........ well you get the point. Then on top of that, his OTHER grandparents plan to come up too??? Just great. (have I mentioned that my in laws are absolutely NO help when it comes to taking care of kids? When they are here, they sit on the couch, or mil gets on the computer, and that is about it. they are just in the way, unlike my mom who will work her butt off the entire time she is here)

But then, I got scheduled for my induction on Feb 7th, and I felt like it would all be ok. I figured that gave Evan a LITTLE time to adjust, and things to calm down just a little before my in laws came around the 20th. I was a little less stressed about the whole thing, and felt like it would be ok.

Well, then dh called them and told them I was being induced on Feb 7th. Everything has changed now. Fil calls the next day, and tells him that the week of the 20th was never good for him anyway, and they wanted to know when we wanted them to come. Dh tells them to come whenever they want, and fil starts saying they will come up on the 7th. He tells dh they will leave from SC after they get out of school that day. After dh got off of the phone, I told him that that wasn't really the best time, but they could do what they want to do. They are not the kind of people who would sit around the hospital waiting for her to be born, so at least they won't be in MY way. I just don't want them here. I am scared it's going to be way too much for Evan, but what can I do. Dh won't listen because MY mom will be here, but that is only because she is going to be HELPING us.

Why can't men get that??

3 Comments:

At 11:04 AM, Blogger kate said...

Men rarely GET anything, sometimes it seems. It will be very disruptive for Evan but there isn't much you can do about it...so try not to stress too much? Explain that you will be concentrating on the new baby and hopefully dh can get some more time off, to help Evan settle in a bit? Oooh boy what a circus...

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger lauralu said...

there's no win with clueless in-laws. all you can do (i think) is take care of the people who do matter to you. good luck with them.

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger delphi said...

No one in my family is helping me. Plenty of visitors for BB, but no help for me. Actually, one offer of help - to do laundry. Unfortunately, I have too many fine washables - it would have taken longer for me to explain how to wash each garment than to do it myself. Would someone just offer to vaccuum and wash the floor?

Sorry. That was too much about me for a comment :) Refer back to my blog for more venting.

I hope it goes better than you anticipate (not holding my breath...).

 

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