Jeez, why can't I come up with catchy little titles?? Kept trying to think of something, but it just doesn't come. What can I say, I am NO writer, and sure don't claim to be. Anyway, I am kind of feeling the need to clarify things. I don't really know why, maybe for myself more then anyone else, but still, it needs to be done. You see I have been thinking of some of my posts all day, and what I have realized is that I sound PATHETIC. I sound like I need serious mental help (which might be the case anyway) and I sound like I am in the throws of a deep dark depression. You know there probably is some truth to the depression. How can I NOT be depressed when I am miles from family, I have no friends (other then the most amazing women I have EVER known, my internet friends) and I miss my son on a daily basis? But I think the degree of depression that comes out in my posts is a little more extreme. See I use this as a way to get rid of that sadness, or at least TALK about it. If I wasn't able to do that, then maybe I wouldn't be able to take care of Evan and I just can't bare to think about that. I can't let myself cheat Evan out of all that he deserves. I can't let him not have ME. So when the overwhelming grief hits, I come and I get it out, and ALL of you wonderful people encourage me. I just hate that there are SO MANY of us........

Dh is going out tomorrow night. Not real thrilled about it, but someone he worked with got out of the Navy and they are throwing a huge party for her. Apparently spouses aren't invited. So I actually get to stay home and BABYSIT. Yep, you read that one right. I get to watch a 4 month old so everyone can go out and party. What a shitty deal.

We called to find out about E's insurance coverage today because it's time for his 15 month well baby visit, and come to find out, when they filed MY paperwork they left his out. So of course they said they would fix it, blah blah blah, and then we were supposed to call back tomorrow and make the appointment. Well the insurance company actually called US back and got E all set up, and the good news is, the army base they assigned us to before is not taking patients! E gets a civilian doctor!! Of course we don't know of ANY doctors here, and hadn't really tried to find out since we thought we were going to the Army base, so we just kind of picked one. They are affiliated with the children's hospital, and we can always change doctors if we don't like this one. As long as it's one on the insurance plan we get 100% coverage! Dh is going to call tomorrow and set up E's appointment. I am curious to see the different opinions of the new doctor and E's old one. At least SOMETHING was accomplished today!