Never stops hurting

In the check out line at Wal.Mart earlier:

Cashier: (looking at Evan) "Is he your only child?"

Me: "No, I have a 4 month old at home." (I continue trying to put my bags back into the cart)

Cashier: "Aww a little one! Boy or girl?"

Me: "Girl." (keeping my answer short)

Cashier: "Well that's perfect. A boy and a girl, you don't need anymore."

Yeah, perfect.

Time to catch up

Assuming I still have a reader or 2 out there. I didn't really mean to be MIA without letting anyone know, but I went on an unplanned trip to WV with my mom, dad, neice and nephews. Dh ended up staying home because he had to go back to work. My parents had been here a week, then they decided to go up to WV to visit both of my Grandma's graves, and just basically visit some of the places they used to live, etc. I decided I wanted to go since I hadn't been back in YEARS. (I was born in WV, and my Grandparents still lived there for a long time after we moved.) While we were up there, we decided to make a trip to Cass railroad so Evan could go on a train ride. We rented a little house in the "town" of Cass (it was bought by the state and is actually a replica of the original turn of the century town.) The kids had a great time. The night we stayed in the house, we had deer and bunnies in the back yard. The kids chased them, and then later they caught fireflies.
Yesterday we had the actual train ride. Evan LOVED the train. We went up the mountain and some insanely steep grade for a train, and spent 45 minutes in one of the remnants of a logging camp. The ride back was insanely noisy, so Lauren was NOT happy about it at all. The breaks pretty much squealed non-stop, and all she really wanted to do was SLEEP.
We spent a little time when we got back exploring the museum, and gift shops, and dealing with Evan screaming that he had to get back on his train. By that point, we were all starving, so we headed to the nearest town (an hour and a half away) to get food. On the way back, on the curvy mountain roads, I hit a deer. Everyone was fine (I had Lauren, Evan and my 11 year old neice in the van with me) and the van was still driveable (thank God). My front bumper is smashed in in the driver's side, and my hood is all dented, and there is some damage to my headlight, but it still works. The poor deer did not die right away, so we had to watch her jump all over the road, and then lay writhing in pain. I don't think the kids really saw much of that, (I know Evan didn't) but I am just heartbroken about it. I couldn't do anything to help her, and it was pretty obvious she had babies somewhere. There was just no way I could have avoided hitting her.
Anyway, we are home safely now. I will try to get back here to upload some pics of the train ride, but not sure how long that will take me. I had mountains of laundry, and a 3 year old who is heartbroken that his Grandma left. Hopefully I will have time to get caught up on blogs tonite.

Totally Floored

I was playing around on myspace again and came across another old friend. We had several classes together in highschool, and usually we sat next to each other and got into trouble for talking. Alot. Well, K. added me to her friends, and I went to check out her site. I was absolutely FLOORED to read her about me section. She is the mother of 3 boys. A 6 year old, a 1 year old, and her son, Jonah, in heaven. Another baby in heaven. And this time, I KNOW the mom. And I knew her BEFORE her "new life" began.
I "know" so many people who have lost babies. Far too many. But honestly, most of them are online friends. And I met these online friends because of the babies they lost. I never knew them "before".
I know how common this is, but it's so hard for me to grasp that this person has gone through this too. I have only emailed her once, to tell her about Caleb, and she has emailed me once to tell me a little about Jonah. She had an abruption at full term. I wonder if she had her baby at the same hospital we had Caleb. I wonder who her dr was. I just hate this so much for her.